Hello! My name is Heidi Good Swiacki. I have been married to Steve for 25 years, which has been filled with laughter, trust and love. We have 2 great kids, Ashton 22 and Chris 16. I have ALS, aka Lou Gehrigs Disease. I was officially diagnosed March '05, I was just turning 45. This blog will be about a myriad of topics. I will share my ALS story which will hopefully encourage others. It will show that quality of life comes in many forms. I have to tell you up front that there will be some spiritual references. Don't be afraid or turned off by that. Since I have had ALS I have seen many miracles. Let's be realistic, who can be a happy, non-verbal,ventilated quadriplegic without Faith? I hope you will join me and make this an interesting, educational, inspirational forum. Humor and the ability to enjoy life is required! :)

Heidi passed away 3-25-13 :(

August 4, 2013

Hello, Steve here. To help with the healing process, I am going to continue on with Heidi's blog, primarily talking about our lives and how we as a family are learning to live on with Heidi's memories pushing us forward. Topics covered will be geared towards the affects ALS has on loved ones.

Saturday, September 13, 2014


Heidi, it would have been 28 years with you today. I repeat what I say every year, I am a better man because of you. Your smile, I see it through your vale as though it was yesterday. I remember your soft voice, your contagious laughter, the touch of your left hand. How when I billowed the blankets you giggled like a young girl with a smile that only I saw.

We miss you, Chris, Ashton and I want closure.  The police are still pursuing your passing as a homicide, how could this happen to you.  I really cannot express what I feel, as there are no words that can fully convey my sadness, my fear that you saw what was happening, were you alone?  You once wrote what it felt like when one of our loving caregivers knocked a hose off and could not figure out what to do. You vividly wrote about the progression  your body felt as it was starved of air. Here are your thoughts as written a few years ago

(Written by Heidi in 2009)
Death by vent malfunction

I could hear the air whooshing from my hose.  A small trickle of air was coming into my lungs which I struggled to take in.  

The constant scream of the vent alarm heightened my awareness.  

I could feel my body detaching.  Tingling, cloudy and praying that I don’t die 

I was turning shades of blue and purple, why wasn’t she using the Ambu Bag?
I thought about how awful she would feel if I died 
I pleaded that it would not be this way.

I blacked out, I don’t know for how long.
I woke to a horrible headache, nausea and a strong desire to soil myself. I didn’t.
My skin was clammy and cold, wet from sweat.

I was breathing and I didn’t hear the leak anymore. She obviously found the leak.

I am now left with an incredible weakness but feeling better.

Thank you lord for not bringing me home this day.

Was this what you felt 3/25/13, this haunts me every day and wish I could have protected you.

My sincere hope is that if your life was taken, the people responsible read your thoughts and feel what you must have been thinking. They know they  will be found and punished. Did your vent hose pop off itself? In either case, I believe that your faith in Jesus carried you swiftly home with little fear

If you have followed my therapeutic ramblings this past year, thank you for reading. The blog has morphed from inspirational posts (from Heidi) to my emotional rants. But life, as it always does threw some major curve-balls at my children and I. Opening up our lives does help cope with Heidi's passing being investigated as a homicide.  It does not seem real, from that night meeting Heidi 29 years ago at Joes Cafe to now


  1. Heidi truly loved you too Steve! I was always amazed at how she would light up when you smiled at her.

  2. We are thinking of you all -- Christina