Hello! My name is Heidi Good Swiacki. I have been married to Steve for 25 years, which has been filled with laughter, trust and love. We have 2 great kids, Ashton 22 and Chris 16. I have ALS, aka Lou Gehrigs Disease. I was officially diagnosed March '05, I was just turning 45. This blog will be about a myriad of topics. I will share my ALS story which will hopefully encourage others. It will show that quality of life comes in many forms. I have to tell you up front that there will be some spiritual references. Don't be afraid or turned off by that. Since I have had ALS I have seen many miracles. Let's be realistic, who can be a happy, non-verbal,ventilated quadriplegic without Faith? I hope you will join me and make this an interesting, educational, inspirational forum. Humor and the ability to enjoy life is required! :)

Heidi passed away 3-25-13 :(

August 4, 2013

Hello, Steve here. To help with the healing process, I am going to continue on with Heidi's blog, primarily talking about our lives and how we as a family are learning to live on with Heidi's memories pushing us forward. Topics covered will be geared towards the affects ALS has on loved ones.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Drugs, Friend or Foe

Hi friends and family,
I know I am behind in talking to you. I know I promised to tell you about Ashton 's graduation and our trip to Sacramento, but that will have to wait a little longer.
Today I feel compelled to talk to you about something I have been going through this past week.
In order to cope with not being able to move but still feel everything, I have relied on 2 things. First in my faith, that has pulled me from many dark times, and He works pretty fast.
The other item that has helped me cope is a drug called Ativan, aka Lorazipam. have been on it for anxiety for a little more then three years. It's a very low dose and I followed the doctor's orders. It just helped to take the edge off.
Well, last week I ran out. I didn't think it would me. Within 1 day I felt like I had the flu. This lasted a week, feeling miserable all over, thinking about dying.
I was unable to get a refill for a week but I didn't think it was anything but a virus. My night nurse, Sherrie suggested it was Ativan withdrawals. How could I be going through withdrawals?I never abused the drug.
Apparently Ativan makes your body physiologically dependent. You don't have to abuse it to become addicted . That's scary!
No matter what I did, I could not get a refill for a week.
I was in constant prayer,asking Him to take away the pain, to give me strength to endure, to give me grace and always asking if this was my "time". I think was a lesson, a reminder that I must totally rely on Him. To give Him my pain and trust that He would take care of me, not the Ativan.
I made it through and the doctor has prescribed a longer acting Ativan - type medication. I don't really take the Ativan anymore , only if there is an "upsetting" situation " situation and I feel the need for a little help.
So the moral of the story is DON'T GET HOOKED ON ATIVAN, it's a b___h to get out of your system. Rely on your strength in the Lord, or whatever your faith is.

Great talking with you,

, Heidi

P.S. I had another earwig strolling on my face! At least this one wasn't hungry!!