Hello! My name is Heidi Good Swiacki. I have been married to Steve for 25 years, which has been filled with laughter, trust and love. We have 2 great kids, Ashton 22 and Chris 16. I have ALS, aka Lou Gehrigs Disease. I was officially diagnosed March '05, I was just turning 45. This blog will be about a myriad of topics. I will share my ALS story which will hopefully encourage others. It will show that quality of life comes in many forms. I have to tell you up front that there will be some spiritual references. Don't be afraid or turned off by that. Since I have had ALS I have seen many miracles. Let's be realistic, who can be a happy, non-verbal,ventilated quadriplegic without Faith? I hope you will join me and make this an interesting, educational, inspirational forum. Humor and the ability to enjoy life is required! :)
Heidi passed away 3-25-13 :(
August 4, 2013
Hello, Steve here. To help with the healing process, I am going to continue on with Heidi's blog, primarily talking about our lives and how we as a family are learning to live on with Heidi's memories pushing us forward. Topics covered will be geared towards the affects ALS has on loved ones.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Heidi, I am sorry, this entry will be a little long.
This is a continuation of our blog titled the first 8 hours There was a statement made by an officer who blocked my entry into our room the day you left us for a better place. He stated the room was a crime scene and he could not allow me to enter.
At that time, what he said did not register, as I had no idea someone's hatred could be so far-reaching as to submit a formal complaint to the police that I somehow facilitated your death.
Many of my posts have referred to things that did not happen as you had wanted, such as your Advanced Directive wishes. You had wanted to donate your organs to science, I am sorry I could not make this happen.
The following will chronicle the next 16 hours of our lives without you Heidi.
When the coroner took your body away and as your friends left, the home fell silent with just Chris and my Dad here. Your mother was no-where to be seen. We were in shock, all I remember was falling asleep on your side of the bed and waking around 3 a.m. to our son sobbing. I went into his room and we laid together until he fell asleep.
We woke early the next day, your mom was in the back-yard. Dad went out to console her by trying to give her a hug, she pushed him away, came into the house and started gathering up things in her room.
It was about that time that a police officer knocked on our door ~ 8 a.m. and asked that if I had to leave the house quickly, did I have cloths, documents etc. that I could gather up to take with me? I looked at him in amazement wondering why he would be asking such a question.
The same officer came to our door again around 8:30 with the deputy coroner asking if they could take your respirator, they wanted to see if it had somehow malfunctioned. They said if it did, I could sue the manufacturer. I let them take it, but made it clear I had no intention of suing anyone.
Your mother walked out of the house with an arm-full of documents wrapped in a towel at his time.
I remember getting on my computer to start looking up our friends and families contact numbers, to let them know that you had died.
A forceful knock on the door jolted me back to reality, when I answered, there were a large number of uniformed officers and detectives telling me they were locking down our home, as it was a crime scene and they had to preserve evidence. They let themselves in, they told me we had to leave now. I sat down in shock at my desk looking at my phone, as if I knew who to call at this moment. My father started getting short of breath and dizzy. The lead detective was concerned for his well-being so an ambulance was called. Dad refused care, I noticed one of the larger detectives sitting over with dad, speaking softly to him. I thought that he was trying to console my dad with words of kindness and compassion, instead I heard the detective spewing words like act your age, you are making things worse for everyone. I told this man to get away from my father and how dare he speak to anyone like that. He did not seem to appreciate my speaking directly to him like this, so he got up and threatened to arrest me for impeding his investigation.
Heidi, you would have been proud of me, I remained calm throughout this ordeal. Perhaps that is why the lead detective treated me honorably, they were just doing there jobs.
I had to wake Chris up. The police blocked my way as I tried to go down the hallway I politely asked if I could be the one waking my son, I was escorted down the hallway and I woke Chris. They almost did not let him get dressed. Luckily I was already dressed, as they would not let me back into our room.
As I walked out our front door, I asked why. All I was told was that your mom had filed a complaint that I had facilitated your death.
I was told that I could not stay in our home, but asked to stay near as a search warrant was going to be served and our vehicles would be part of the search.
The search warrant was served around 4:30 that afternoon, I had to watch our lives get cut wide open with strangers searching our home. I watched as they took all of our computers, paperwork, our guns and even the modem from my computer. After they ransacked our cars I was permitted to leave. It was over by 9:00. I came back home to find a complete mess, things carelessly broken, paper work thrown about in our bedroom. Through it all Heidi, they did not search your mom's room, as it remained in perfect condition.
Early on, everyone involved with your care, friends, doctors, caregivers were interviewed by the Sheriffs office, I was interviewed in May, they offered to interview me right after the warrant was served, but by then I was too exhausted to talk to them..
I am no closer to knowing what your mother accused me of, they still have all our things. It has been hard without you Heidi, we all ache from the pain. We have been unable to move on with this cloud over our heads. The investigation continues, but it has gone in a different direction away from me.
I have sadness in my heart knowing that your mother lives daily with a hatred so strong that she has abandoned her grand children . They both are confused as to why? What you tried so hard to preserve (Ashton and Chris's ) relationship with their grandmother was lost in an instant. Chris wants so badly to hug her and has stated that he hopes he can hug her one more time before she dies. Ashton only wants to find out the truth behind what happened to her mama. It is public knowledge that your death certificate documents that you died within minutes of your vent being tampered with.