Walt and Chris |
Steve and I became Christians a few years prior. It was a difficult road for Steve, to believe Jesus Christ was the Son of God and our salvation. His faith was young and fragile. So much death and broken dreams shattered what faith he did have. The time when he needed faith of some kind was when he turned away in anger.
It's said that God only gives what we can handle and the challenges break us down so through our weakness we can become closer to God. My faith tells me it's this way but it's very hard to explain to someone who is not inclined to lean on something that is ethereal..
So what has kept Steve holding it together? Medication wasn't the answer. That just made him feel dull, like being bound in a blanket. He talked to a therapist a couple times and that was not a good combo. Steve didn't want to burden his friends with his troubles, he looks to them for normalcy. He has his father's ear, +my friend who is a pastor talked us through some rough patches, and is comfortable talking with his boss when he needs to talk. These relationships and his friends on Facebook have kept him from imploding. A sincere thank you to everyone.
Walt Sr., Walt Jr., and Steve |
He has made progress in the faith area. Steve no longer makes bible thumper jokes. I can point out blessings we have received and miracles we have witnessed and he doesn't tune me out. He understands that the ALS has strengthened my faith and I rely on my beliefs to get through the day. Faith is a private issue and I don't believe in forcing it on people. On the other hand, I believe that God loves everyone and He has a purpose for us all. This, and the knowledge that there is a place in heaven waiting for me, gives me extreme peace. I want that for everyone, especially my family. So I pray for Steve to let go of his anger and accept God's plan. If he leans on God and lets Him carry the burden maybe Steve will experience the joy I do of just being alive and at peace.
Steve still has his dark moments but he is a loving father, husband caregiver.
I am blessed to have him.
Walt Jr. as a young Marine |
Walt Jr. loving life |
Wow,....didn't realize Steve was going through so much. How much more can one person take? But, like you said, Heidi, God only gives you what He knows you can handle and He has a purpose for it. You and Steve are amazing. I can see how God has blessed you both through your illness. You are touching many people through your journey. Thank you for your incredible courage.
ReplyDeleteCarrie L.